Summer Sights as Winter Creeps in

I know, it's been more than a year since I last posted and was determined to make a whole lot of changes.
Well, some changes did happen. I stopped working in a basement in June and committed myself to just one company. And I feel incredible even though my 2 block commute changed to a 2 hour commute, I'm still so much happier. I've started walking a great deal each day and dropped 20 of the over 60 lbs that I gained in my 2 block commute. I've also started adding some resistance band workouts on the weekends with my daughter. We'll see how it goes.
For now, some pics of the Salt Marsh in Marine Park, Brooklyn through the lens of my LG cell phone! This is one of only a few Salt Marshes in NYC. Not sure of the total number, but there's also one in Manhattan at Inwood Park. There's so much life in and around this Salt Marsh, from hermit crabs to mussels, horseshoe crabs, turtles, and birds like the snowy egret, the blue heron and the yellow footed booby. Not the mention swans, geese, and ducks!
The nature center attached to the Salt Marsh is a great place to bring kids on weekends in the winter for lessons on nature and crafts!

Three Years
My blogging goals have been all over the place. I started this this back when I was killing a daily workout and in the best shape of my life at 40. Yes!40...
Then everything changed. I was losing my job of 16 years. My then boss referred me to a friend of his and I got a job right away. The job paid less and micro managed more.. A whole lot more.. A WHOLE LOT MORE..that was three years ago..
Three years ago, my sweet pea.. The bestest kid on the planet.. The incredibly smart and amazing little girl graduated elementary school and moved on to middle school. And now is on to high school. Where has the three years gone? Where? I'm afraid to blink because she'll be in college.
Three years ago this September we also found out about my mom. She has stage 4 cancer. She didn't make it long enough to even begin treatment. Loved her so much. She was like a second mom to my daughter. Heck, I think my daughter called her mom before she called me mom. Our world is not the same without her.

Back to fitness and this blog. Well.. I'm sort of lost. In all respects. I work a full and part time job which has finally allowed me to pay my bills but the micro managing has pushed me over the stress edge. I'm also constantly worried about what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes, like this morning, I'll spend the time between sleep and wakefulness trying to remember a job that I didn't schedule or follow up on, only to finally realize after quite a bit of panic that this actually doesn't exist. I feel responsible for everything that goes wrong at work.. Everything. And I keep thinking that this is not for me.. This is only temporary.. But it's been three years.
On yes.. Fitness..
As I added more hours and more work and more stress, even hours I don't get paid for in an effort to do my job better. I slowly stopped working out. I hurt my shoulder somehow and have not seen weights in over 6 months. I lost everything else. I lost my muscles. I lost my determination. I lost my will. I lost my chutzpah. I'm just a worker now. I am not a fitness enthusiast. I am not a weight lifter. I am not a Vegan with muscles ( I'm still vegan). I am not an example of what hard work and determination can do to change your life. I'm just a worker.

Back to the blog.
I've changed the name a million times.. Ok maybe three. I planned to walk the streets of Brooklyn in search of all things nature but.. I never got around to it. Of course we did make it out of the house on weekends but, we didn't get too many pics.
So here I am trying to figure out what to do with this blog. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. I think I'll keep the name in hopes of eventually getting the nature part posted. I think I'll write here more often. Maybe this will help me figure out what to do with my life..maybe.

See you soon!!

New name again.. New post...

New name again.. New post...
It's been a while since I posted and it has been a difficult few months.
I lost my job, but got a new one.
The new job is going pretty well, except that I'm in the office for many, many, many more hours a day. This is sort of killing me. I am glued to an office chair which is driving me bananas... What I realize, more than anything in the world is that I really, really miss one simple easy thing; one thing that I have taken for granted for so long, that just seemed to be such a natural part of daily life..
WALKING!! Oh walking, here, there, and everywhere, music in my ears, alone with nothing around me, there is nothing in this world that can replace that feeling of freedom that I would get from walking. Now, well now, everything has changed.
Every morning now, the school bus picks my daughter up for school. - Minus two miles
I walk two blocks to and from work- Minus three miles
I'm out of work sometimes at 6, 6:30 so I'm tired- Minus at least another mile, another mile if I had to hit the post office for work..
So now, I'm gaining weight, even though I work out every morning (weights) and still eat what I used to or even a little less...
Even worse though is the lazy, tired, feeling.. The feelings that I get at work after sitting in the chair for three hours straight that I feel like I'm getting claustrophobia and I'm about to explode..
And I'm just getting lazier, and the weather is getting colder, which means that I don't even want to go for a walk at night.. FREEZING..
Oh boy walking, I miss you!

Starting a New Round of Body Beast

Boring title eh? Yeah well, it's just the facts ma'am.. I finished up a round of P90X2 because it has lots of balance, cores strength and stability moves and I was feeling kind of stiff from two rounds of Body Beast. If you don't know Body Beast is a 100% weightlifting program. Now, I am heading on back to Body Beast.. I'm on day three and unfortunately I was limited on time this morning, so instead of skipping the workout, I did the back portion of Back & Bi's and I'll try to get Bi's in tonight. I will say that my legs are killing me from the legs workout yesterday, and yes, I like the soreness!!

I'm also trying to start a garden in my yard, so in the off week last week, I decided to dig up the "grass" (read WEEDS) that are in my yard.. Not an easy chore if all you're working with is a shovel! So it was really slow going but I did make a little headway. I'm planning on planting kale, spinach, broccoli, green beans, arugula and sunflowers.. I'm sure there's more.. If you look at the pics, at the back of the garden there are some white flowers that I shoveled around, these were arugula that I planted two years ago that somehow came back, and they were very pretty and quite tasty really.. I'm going to show you how beautiful these flowers were.



Day one

Day four




Such pretty little flowers, I just couldn't tear them out!!!

This was my haul.. not bad I'd say!

 

I'm looking forward to lifting heavier weight and decreasing my time spent working out. I'm trying to get myself to a place where I'm not spacing out and I'm just moving forward quickly and with Umph!

I think I'm going to post more and more here and maybe I'll feel like I am more accountable. I don't miss my workouts, I just don't always attack them like I should lol.

I realize more than anything else, I really LOVE lifting weights! There is this incredible feeling that I have when I have to wrap my hands because I am pushing myself to lift a heavier weight that I may not be able to grip for the entire workout. I love the feeling of the soreness when I walk down and up stairs on Lag days and the days after. I love the feeling in my Tris when I suddenly realize that they are the weakest part of my arms. I love the feeling of almost smashing my face on the floor because I am so weak after that the last two triceps push ups are almost impossible..

I LOVE THIS FEELING!

Every sore muscle, every ache, every callous.. I love the feeling of my entire body pushing as hard as possible to finish the set.. I want to be doing this forever, I want this pain, this soreness, I want this... FOREVER!



 

A Name Change

I've changed the name of my blog to Half of Me, I guess that I'm about half of what I used to be. I thought maybe the title was a little less "Kim wants to conquer the worldish" and a little more subtle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm a terrible cook.. TERRIBLE, yup, it's true and maybe one reason why veganism works so ridiculously well for me, i can eat almost everything I love right out of it's natural container, or with very little more than boiling adding a little garlic, pepper, tomato sauce.. nothing difficult really! This week I decided to try my hand at making some garlic knots. My daughter absolutely positively LOVES garlic knots, so I said.. Why not give it a go. THEY CAME OUT FABULOUS! OK, I had to take Leila to the Dr. the next morning because she had acid reflux and I thought it was a sore throat. Other than a garlic overdose, they were so yummy. I will explain why this is such a feat for me. I made the dough completely from scratch. AND, this is the VERY first time I had ever made dough from scratch. This is the recipe I used and I have to admit that Leila and I did a fine job of making some delicious garlic knots.

When I was in my early 20's I decided that I would become a vegetarian, I was around 20 or 21. I was dieting at the time and I realized that if I could go a week without eating much at all, then I could certainly give up meat. I always wanted to be involved in animal rights, I LOVE. Since I was a kid I just always loved animals. While I never got involved in animal rights protests or anything, I knew that if I could ever give up meat that I would. It was the strangest thing when I was a kid, there was never even an idea of giving up meat. The people that were stuck in the 60's and running health food stores were the vegans and vegetarians, the people in my neighborhood in Brooklyn, they were NOT the vegans.. So I never even had an inkling that giving up meat was a "thing". So in my twenties, I decided that I could give up meat and I did, and I never, ever, had a desire to eat it ever again. At the time, I didn't know one single person that was a vegetarian. In fact I remember going to Florida with two of my friends and walking into a Denny's where I asked for the spaghetti and meatballs without the meatballs because I was a vegetarian. The woman who took my order felt the need to announce to the entire staff at the top of her lungs "Y'all have to hear this" as I sunk down into my seat. Well, she came out with a plate of spaghetti with no sauce and some grey looking meatballs sitting atop it.. I sent it back, but I'm sure the meat was removed and the spaghetti returned to me. It's happened many times since then, although not as comically, even three years ago I went to ESPN ZONE in Manhattan and ordered the salad sans steak, the waiter brought the salad and there was the steak sitting on it.

In October of 2011 I read a blog post about veganism. I wanted to be vegan, but Parmesan cheese was my weakness, I ate it on EVERYTHING, salad, pasta, everything! But the blog talked about how vegetarianism wasn't enough if your real concern was the welfare of animals. I read that blog and thought about the dairy cows that are forced to spend their entire lives standing in tiny enclosures giving milk. The same cows who were given hormones so that they could give milk even without being pregnant. I read about the horrific treatment of these cows some sick and dying. I read about the male chicks that are all discarded, smothered in plastic garbage bags at birth because they are useless to egg farmers. I read about the chickens that lived in battery cages that were too small for them to even turn around, hens that spent their entire lives standing on cages. Stacks & stacks of cages. I watched Food Inc. and read the Omnivores Dilemma which explained that there were loopholes to the "free-range" term, meaning that as long as there was an open door at the end of the enclosure that these animals were kept in then it could be considered free range. These animals, however, never saw the light of day.

I'm not a perfect vegan, I try my best. I don't drink milk, eat cheese or eggs. I try to avoid foods that I know have these products in them, and when I can, I read labels. The truth is that it's not that hard, I love salads and I mean I really LOVE salads. The funniest thing is that I don't eat lettuce, and rarely eat tomatoes. When people hear that they look at me twice. I like spinach salad, mesculine salad, avocados. and I love mushrooms with tons & tons of garlic. I also love fruits and veggies, but I don't like the things I ate as a kid, I'm not a fan of carrots, peas, or green beans. I don't really like red delicious apples but I love other juicier varieties. I love kale, cabbage, heck last night I ate lentils, something I would never eat as a kid, and LOVED them.. What I realize that many people don't is that being vegan actually gets you to eat more of a variety of food. I eat hummus, cous-cous, quinoa, I eat wasabi, gandules, and have even made my own almond butter. These are things I would never have touched as a kid but now, well now the would of fruits, veggies, nuts, grains, they are open to me and I could not be happier.

So when you see a vegan and you ask them "What do you eat?" Get ready for a very long list of incredible foods!

Double Beasty YEAH!



This was me in Morocco, and I'm not flexing ;)

Soooo, If you've ever read my blog before, and as I can tell maybe 2 or 3 people have lol.. You know that I did Body Beast. Well, I've completed a second round of Body Beast. I really honestly loved the program. I'm not going to lie, I can't say that my biceps got any bigger, I don't think they did, however, my back is so much more defined than I could ever have imagined. More importantly and this is going to sound crazy, I have defined .. um.. er.. glute muscles! Now, I know you may be saying to yourself, so what.. Well, living for many years with a 300 + lb body both as a teen into my early 20's and then again as an adult through much of my 30's well, some things seem impossible..

 
Yes, I know, I know I'm one of those people that would tell you that nothing is impossible.. But I have to admit that with ALL the excess everything I never really though I'd see so much muscle definition. To be honest, I had to show someone my butt, oh my poor mom! Lo and behold, even she said she could see muscle.
So, well, what's next? Well, After deciding to do a little yoga the other day, I realized.. OH Crap, I'm stiff as HELL! So, I did a few more days of yoga and decided, I need P90X2. I know you may be thinking, hey, that's a step back, you did that one already, heck you did it twice! Yes, yes I did, but ya know what? I NEED IT! I know I need it because I did a week of it and I am sore in places that I wasn't sore in with Body Beast.. So, I'm working different muscles. I'm working on stability and flexibility, sounds like two opposite things eh? Not really, I'm working on improving the way my body moves, how well I can balance, and I'm hoping to be able to do some more things I never imagined possible. I am hoping to do a handstand, to hold crane for longer than a few seconds, to do pull ups, and splits.. Even Child's Pose is so very difficult for me, I can't get anywhere near bending my knees enough., So I need the flexibility.
I have to admit, I'm going to miss the weights, but I'm not worried because I'll be back to them as soon as this round of X2 is over. Truthfully, I want to be able to say that I can do a little of everything. That's kind of the way my brain works, I always say that I am a Jack of All Trades, Master of none, and that is pretty true, yes, in my life I can sit down and figure out so many things, now I want my body to follow suit. So this year will be my year of trial & error.
I'm off to a good start, so far, I've visited Morocco this year :) I'm deathly afraid of flying, and this flight was an 8 hour flight, so I did it and it's one less thing that I have to worry about! Some things I plan to try... I plan to try Rock Wall Climbing, Parkour, Handstands, and one of those insane runs! And hopefully whatever else comes my way!

 
This was my first Moroccan sunset, so pretty!

While I was in Morocco, I took two weeks off from Body Beast and I did about a week of bodyweight exercises. I do miss bodyweight only exercises. P90X2 gives me bodyweight exercises, but it also gives me stability ball exercises that include either bodyweight, like push ups, or adding light to medium weight like chest presses on stability ball, or even Warrior 3 kickback, which means you are balancing on one leg and doing kickbacks or curls, or presses.. Lots & LOTS of core work. I am looking forward to mastering EVERYTHING!! I think this round of P90X2 will be better because I want to do it so much, and I'm already acquainted with the exercises..
So with all these goals.. Oh wait, I have another goal.. wait, wait..
I have decided to sign up for the test for ACTION YUP, I am going to get certified to be a personal trainer, even if I never train people, just knowing that I have enough knowledge to feel confident that I'm giving people the right kind of advice with at least some book knowledge.
Wish me luck, and I'll keep you updated!! All one or two of you :)
KIM

Beasting Up!!

I've done it!!! I've finished a full round of Body Beast.. Oh but here is the kicker, I added 2 weeks onto the Bulk phase and guess what my end date was? Ok, it was my birthday!! I didn't plan it that way, heck I probably couldn't have planned it if I tried, but that is indeed the way it ended up. Oh but wait did i mention that it was a milestone birthday (do adults have milestone birthdays?) It was the BIG 4-0!1 yup on October 11th I officially entered adulthood I turned 40.. Ok I know that you are thinking to yourself HELLO, you have been an adult to a VERY LONG time! But to me if the truth be told I feel better now than I did at 18. You see, at 18 I was obese, probably morbidly obese. I weighed in over 300 lbs..

And I know you are sitting there just thinking to yourself.. SALESPITCH.. but I have been up and down and back & forth with my weight, and my eating, but what is different now is my love of exercise. Yup, I know you have to eat well, and I had been a vegetarian for years and even as a vegetarian, I was still around 300 lbs. In my teens I was obese, by my 20's I was anorexic, by my 30's I was back to obese.. but then I realized I needed to love something other than food, to find a way to destress that didn't involve my hand in a chip bag ot scoffing down candy, or cheesecake.. Or depriving myself of just about everything and walking around hungry. I needed to take the focus OFF of food. Yeah I know that's not really the right way to do it.. Well for me, it started with increasing my exercising..

Food is for sure so very important, but I refuse, REFUSE to obsess about what I put in my body.. I am a vegan, I am a vegan for one reason only, that reason is because I love animals, it is not for all the wonderful side effects that come along with a vegan diet, like increased energy, and a trimmer waistline.. Those to me are just bonuses.. When people ask me how many calories I eat, I reply truthfully and honestly.. I HAVE NO IDEA! and it is the absolute truth! My focus has changed from stressing about what I ate to strengthening my body. Now, when I eat I think to myself, I need this food because it helps give me strength, It helps that it is TASTY too!!
I remember for years that I would never consider eating coconut oil, avocados, nuts, peanut butter, even bananas because they were all supposed to make you fat.. Well, I eat them all now, and I don't worry for a second about whether or not I'm getting fat. The interesting thing is that when I was doing Body Beast, I was trying to GAIN weight, yup I said it GAIN!! Well not fat, but muscle..

I didn't really succeed, but I'm onto my second round and I will surely be Bigger! But more importantly and I mean this, I am STRONGER! I can now hold 65 lb dumbells in each hand and squat and deadlift them. When I started Body Beast I couldn't even hold 40's without them slipping. I never thought I'd be working out with weights higher than 35 lbs, yet this morning, I did chest presses with a 45 lb dumbbell in each hand for 8 reps! And you know what I can feel 50 coming quickly around the corner!  And no I don't mean 50 years old! I mean 50 lbs!! But it's not just the increase in weight, I can do things I never dreamed of, I can do 4 ball push ups, I'm getting better at one arm push ups, and Oh yeah, I can now do a kind of crane on my bench!!

 

So I'm going to keep pushing myself, because that is what makes me HAPPY!!