Three Years
My blogging goals have been all over the place. I started this this back when I was killing a daily workout and in the best shape of my life at 40. Yes!40...
Then everything changed. I was losing my job of 16 years. My then boss referred me to a friend of his and I got a job right away. The job paid less and micro managed more.. A whole lot more.. A WHOLE LOT MORE..that was three years ago..
Three years ago, my sweet pea.. The bestest kid on the planet.. The incredibly smart and amazing little girl graduated elementary school and moved on to middle school. And now is on to high school. Where has the three years gone? Where? I'm afraid to blink because she'll be in college.
Three years ago this September we also found out about my mom. She has stage 4 cancer. She didn't make it long enough to even begin treatment. Loved her so much. She was like a second mom to my daughter. Heck, I think my daughter called her mom before she called me mom. Our world is not the same without her.
Back to fitness and this blog. Well.. I'm sort of lost. In all respects. I work a full and part time job which has finally allowed me to pay my bills but the micro managing has pushed me over the stress edge. I'm also constantly worried about what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes, like this morning, I'll spend the time between sleep and wakefulness trying to remember a job that I didn't schedule or follow up on, only to finally realize after quite a bit of panic that this actually doesn't exist. I feel responsible for everything that goes wrong at work.. Everything. And I keep thinking that this is not for me.. This is only temporary.. But it's been three years.
On yes.. Fitness..
As I added more hours and more work and more stress, even hours I don't get paid for in an effort to do my job better. I slowly stopped working out. I hurt my shoulder somehow and have not seen weights in over 6 months. I lost everything else. I lost my muscles. I lost my determination. I lost my will. I lost my chutzpah. I'm just a worker now. I am not a fitness enthusiast. I am not a weight lifter. I am not a Vegan with muscles ( I'm still vegan). I am not an example of what hard work and determination can do to change your life. I'm just a worker.
Back to the blog.
I've changed the name a million times.. Ok maybe three. I planned to walk the streets of Brooklyn in search of all things nature but.. I never got around to it. Of course we did make it out of the house on weekends but, we didn't get too many pics.
So here I am trying to figure out what to do with this blog. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. I think I'll keep the name in hopes of eventually getting the nature part posted. I think I'll write here more often. Maybe this will help me figure out what to do with my life..maybe.
See you soon!!
My blogging goals have been all over the place. I started this this back when I was killing a daily workout and in the best shape of my life at 40. Yes!40...
Then everything changed. I was losing my job of 16 years. My then boss referred me to a friend of his and I got a job right away. The job paid less and micro managed more.. A whole lot more.. A WHOLE LOT MORE..that was three years ago..
Three years ago, my sweet pea.. The bestest kid on the planet.. The incredibly smart and amazing little girl graduated elementary school and moved on to middle school. And now is on to high school. Where has the three years gone? Where? I'm afraid to blink because she'll be in college.
Three years ago this September we also found out about my mom. She has stage 4 cancer. She didn't make it long enough to even begin treatment. Loved her so much. She was like a second mom to my daughter. Heck, I think my daughter called her mom before she called me mom. Our world is not the same without her.
Back to fitness and this blog. Well.. I'm sort of lost. In all respects. I work a full and part time job which has finally allowed me to pay my bills but the micro managing has pushed me over the stress edge. I'm also constantly worried about what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes, like this morning, I'll spend the time between sleep and wakefulness trying to remember a job that I didn't schedule or follow up on, only to finally realize after quite a bit of panic that this actually doesn't exist. I feel responsible for everything that goes wrong at work.. Everything. And I keep thinking that this is not for me.. This is only temporary.. But it's been three years.
On yes.. Fitness..
As I added more hours and more work and more stress, even hours I don't get paid for in an effort to do my job better. I slowly stopped working out. I hurt my shoulder somehow and have not seen weights in over 6 months. I lost everything else. I lost my muscles. I lost my determination. I lost my will. I lost my chutzpah. I'm just a worker now. I am not a fitness enthusiast. I am not a weight lifter. I am not a Vegan with muscles ( I'm still vegan). I am not an example of what hard work and determination can do to change your life. I'm just a worker.
Back to the blog.
I've changed the name a million times.. Ok maybe three. I planned to walk the streets of Brooklyn in search of all things nature but.. I never got around to it. Of course we did make it out of the house on weekends but, we didn't get too many pics.
So here I am trying to figure out what to do with this blog. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. I think I'll keep the name in hopes of eventually getting the nature part posted. I think I'll write here more often. Maybe this will help me figure out what to do with my life..maybe.
See you soon!!
